Rabbi and Intimacy Coach Tells How
SARASOTA, Fla., Oct. 18, 2011 — Each autumn, slogans like "Choose blue!" or "Think pink!" abound, along with blue or pink newspaper and magazine sections, advertisements and supermarket products. These announce the annual advent of National Prostate and Breast Cancer Awareness Months every September and October. However, an important issue is often overlooked at this season, observes Rabbi Ed Weinsberg.
"I appreciate the positive emphasis on the need for medical research and community support," says Weinsberg, who is a prostate cancer survivor, healthcare educator, and certified sexuality counselor with a doctorate in gerontology. "But hardly anyone stresses ways to address cancer survivors' need for greater intimacy, even though most suffer from some form of long-term sexual dysfunction."
In fact, one-third of the 400,000 Americans diagnosed each year with prostate or breast cancers are Boomers, ages 45 to 65, whose vibrant personal lives are suddenly disrupted.
Rabbi Ed, as he is known, adds, "When it comes to major illnesses like breast and prostate cancer, quality of life issues like improving patients' sexual relationships are generally overlooked, even when specialists address the medical mechanics of sexual rehabilitation."
To help patients, survivors and their partners resolve their most intimate concerns, Rabbi Ed has created the Intimacy Development System (IDS). His approach provides ten strategies to reverse survivors' tendency to distance themselves from their spouses or partners due to anxiety about disfigurement or sexual dysfunction.
The most crucial strategy, according to Weinsberg is to "make love," and not just "have sex." He insists that intimacy can develop if partners emphasize "whole-body sex" rather than intercourse alone. As such, he practices and preaches his "S-T-I-C-K" method of sensate-focus, where partners express mutual appreciation and rekindle romance through psychological stroking (S), touching (T) from head to toe, intercourse (I) only if mutually desired, cuddling (C) and kissing (K). Initiating humor and playfulness and "keeping the faith" are equally important.
Weinsberg offers these and other helpful techniques in a complimentary report and a new ebook, Reigniting Intimacy and Sexuality after Illness. He provides even more tips in a home-study intimacy course and in his Amazon bestseller, Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life, and at http://www.GreatSexAfterCancer.com and http://www.ConquerProstateCancer.com.
Commenting on Weinsberg's work, John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, noted that "Understanding that sickness does not have to end intimacy is vital for every marriage. Rabbi Weinsberg helps readers resolve this important issue to create a lifetime of love and fulfillment."
Weinsberg often speaks publicly about his strategies for improving intimacy after illness. His next presentation on October 28th will be a six-hour workshop on intimacy after illness for the New England region of AASECT, The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, in the Greater Boston area.
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